Say Your Name
by TheTrashBoi
Summary: AU. After a mission gone wrong, Steven winds up in the hospital. But unbeknownst to Pearl, this was way more serious than anyone had thought. R&R. Takes place after the episode Friend Ship but before Nightmare Hospital.
1. Steven's Condition

**A/N: Well, I've been thinking of making this story since yesterday so whatevs. I hope you all enjoy.**

* * *

The Crystal Gems and Connie all stood in the hospital. Connie's mom and two more nurses were all working on Steven.

The nurses had opened the window above him several minutes ago to cool down the room a bit and let in some fresh air.

This was a nightmare to say the least. Steven was wearing hospital clothes, and was quietly asleep. He had been laying on this same bed for two weeks now, having been in a coma all this time.

The news spread across Beach City about Steven's unfortunate condition, its citizens shocked and saddened. For days on end his room would be littered with get well presents and cards. Many of his closest friends went to visit him. The Cool Kids, Sadie, Jamie, and even Lars.

The Crystal Gems would visit as much as they could, especially Pearl. Connie would visit him almost everyday, while Pearl was _literally_ visiting EVERYDAY.

"Please wake up," Pearl whispered. Everyone in the room was silent. They had nothing to say.

Suddenly, the door opened and in came a doctor.

"Visiting hours are over I'm afraid..." The doctors said sternly. Pearl sighed, then got up with the rest of The Crystal Gems.

"Connie, I think it's best if you leave." Connie's mom said.

"But-"

"I'm not asking you, I'm commanding you. Go. I don't what you to be here while I work...I just...don't want you to see the procedures of what a doctor or nurse has to do to a patient in this sort of situation, especially at your age. So please, just go."

Connie looked down to the ground and nodded, slowly walking out of the room and in to the busy hallways.

* * *

 _At The Temple..._

The Crystal Gems just stood or sat around. Not saying a word to one another.

"This is all my fault..." Pearl out of nowhere stated.

"No it's not." Garnet disagreed, shaking her head.

"YES IT IS!" Pearl screamed. She then took in a deep breath and calmed down.

"It's my fault Steven is in the hospital! If it weren't for me this wouldn't have never at happened..."

"I shouldn't have let him go on that stupid mission..." Pearl whispered to herself once again.

She than thought back to that horrible day...

* * *

[ _Flashback...]_

The Crystal Gems along with Steven were scouting the Kindergarten in search for Peridot. She lost her leg and she can't go any place else so this was a place where they thought would be the most reasonable place to look.

"Hey guys! When we catch Peridot, could we y'know, let her join our side?" Steven asked shyly, not thinking his answer would satisfy him.

"Sorry Steven, but Peridot is an enemy. Nothing more. She is completely loyal to Homeworld, and we can't risk getting betrayed by her." Garnet said. Steven just sighed in sadness, hoping that he could have made another friend.

They continued walking around the Kindergarten until they spotted some Gem Mutants. They all summoned there weapons and we're ready to strike.

"On my mark." Garnet ordered.

"Ready...Set...Go!" All of them rushed out to fight the mutants.

The Crystal Gems fought about 10 Mutants and it wasn't that difficult. They were pretty easy to poof and they weren't that smart. Pearl was fighting a rather big Gem Mutant though. Having trouble with it and losing her patience, Pearl jumped up and kicked The Gem Mutant away, launching it.

Unfortunately, it was headed it's way towards Steven. Steven's eyes widened in shock as he tried to dodge it but couldn't, and it knocked him off his feet, flying backwards into an injector. His back and head slammed against the hard metal of the injector, and he fell forward, his head violently meeting the ground, and Pearl could've sworn she heard a crack.

Her satisfaction for destroying the Mutant quickly dissipated as she saw Steven lying there, completely lifeless before her, and her entire world stopped. She ran over to him, picking him up, but he didn't even flinch.

"S-Steven?" Her voice strained.

[ _End Of Flashback...]_

* * *

 _The Next Day..._

Pearl was told several times by the doctors to take it easy for a while and to relax. However she really had to restrain herself from going back to the Hospital to check up on Steven, or to even worry or think about him every second.

At the moment, the white gem didn't know what to do with herself. She had cooked Amethyst some breakfast because she liked food for some reason. After Amethyst had eaten, she and Garnet went to go and visit Steven, leaving Pearl all alone in the house.

She had no idea what Garnet or Amethyst were going through at this point. She mostly thought of herself and her own ordeal over the situation, but now that she's somewhat looking at the others and how they are handling it, she's not that surprise. Both of them like to hide there real emotions from everyone, so she didn't really know how they were REALLY handling in.

All of a sudden, footsteps could be heard running up the stairs that led to the front door. Once she went to look, she instantly knew who they were.

"Garnet, Amethyst!? You guys got back from visiting Steven already?" Pearl asked.

Amethyst was trying to hold back tears for some reason, while Garnet was trying to keep her emotions at bay.

"What's wrong?"

"S-Steven is...he's..." Amethyst choked.

Pearl's eyes widened at the mention of Steven. "What about Steven? Is he okay?"

After about several minutes of silence, Amethyst composed herself. Amethyst replied," Yeah. He's awake, b-but..." And Pearl had already rushed out the house and hurried towards the Hospital.

* * *

Once she finally got to the hospital, opened up the door to Steven's room, and saw him wide awake, she tried to hold back tears.

At first, she couldn't look him in the eyes, guilt consuming her. But when there eyes locked, he smiled.

She sighed in relief, restraining herself from embracing the boy. She then soon found out that Connie's mom was in here with the two.

"I suppose your friends gave you the news, huh?" Connie's mom asked.

Pearl nodded with excitement, walking towards Steven's bed.

"Is your head okay?" Pearl asked, not wanting him to be uncomfortable.

Steven shrugged his arms and gave her a so-so hand sign. But then she noticed Steven wasn't even talking to her at this point.

"Are you okay Steven? Are you mad at me? I mean, I don't blame you if you are."

Steven looked away from her, shutting his eyes.

"Did your friends not tell you?" Connie mom asked with a raised eyebrow. Now Pearl wished she had listened to Amethyst without completely running away.

"T-tell me what?" she stuttered. She was now starting to get scared. What happened?

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that Steven..." Connie's mom paused. She sighed.

"...is apparently mute."

* * *

 **A/N: This is rushed but oh well. This may not be updated ever but if you guys really want me too just ask me! And oh wow I saw the promo for Steven bomb 4 and wow Steven is older than me!**


	2. No Forgiveness

**A/N: Well, since everybody voted for this story to continue I thought I should make it an on-going story. It's not going to be long though. Probably around 13-16 chapters. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy. :)**

* * *

"...is apparently mute." Connie's mom had told her. This replayed in Pearl's mind like a broken record. Time froze, her eyes wide in complete shock and horror. Had she heard right? Steven, the Son of the Beautiful Rose Quartz, and the boy she deeply loved and cared about, could no longer speak? And it was all her fault, she just knew it. Th guilt inside her was now consuming her mind and soul.

"M-m-m-mu-mute?!" Pearl stammered in a whisper to make sure she hadn't heard wrong. Connie's Mother gravely nodded, and Steven's face saddened and his head looked down at his folded hands in his lap.

"How?" she questioned. "Why can't he speak?" She asked, holding back her tears.

"Well," Connie's Mom began with a sigh, "it's actually fairly complicated. But, I think I have a way to tell you what's going on without getting too technical." she said. "I'll try to explain this as simple as possible." Pearl nodded and waited for an explanation. Connie's Mom than seated herself on a chair, seeing as how she was standing a bit too long.

"Now I want both of you to listen, because I have yet to tell _you_ this, Steven." She glanced over at him and he nodded in acknowledgement. "There is an area in the brain, called 'Broca's area', located usually on the left side of your brain. This region of the brain is believed to be linked to language production, as well as language comprehension. When damaged, it may affect your speaking pattern, as well as your understanding of the language you speak." She turned to Steven and continued." You, Steven, had received extreme damage to this area, but it doesn't seem like your understanding of the language has changed. I had you write for me earlier if you remember and you could spell just fine. And you can obviously understand what I'm saying to you now." Steven nodded, understanding.

"But I don't understand exactly how he can't speak," Pearl said.

Connie's mom leaned back in her chair that creaked as she did so, and explained, "The area I mentioned earlier - Broca's area - controls the muscles of your lips, your jaws, as well as your vocal cords. Sadly, when this area is damaged, all muscle memory of your mouth is lost, as well as how to create sounds of words."

Pearl, her throat now dry, gulped nervously, "So, in other words..."

"In other words," Connie's Mom repeated slowly, "it'd be like teaching a baby how to speak." Steven's heart sunk to the floor at the those words. Pearl's entire body went numb; Steven didn't know what to feel at this point.

Suddenly, the door to the room slid open, and a nurse poked her head in, saying, "Dr. Maheswaran, you have a patient waiting," and she closed the door.

Connie's Mom stood up and went to the door. "I'm so sorry." She said in a sincere and sad tone, before exiting the room.

Pearl sat in the same chair that Connie's Mom just sat in, without saying a word, her eyes and face completely blank. _"What have I done?"_ she cried within herself. She didn't want to look at Steven, knowing what her actions had done to him. She cursed herself for living on this stupid planet. She was never suppose to end up here. All she has caused is pain and suffering for the boy. He would never forgive her for this. Ever.

* * *

Steven had reclined back on the hospital bed, feeling hollow and empty inside when Connie's Mom revealed the bad news. He had mixed emotions, as if someone threw them all in a blender and pressed puree. He lied when he "told" Pearl that his head was fine, because to be honest, it really wasn't. It still hurt terribly and he could feel his heart beat dangerously slow in his chest, his breathing coming out irregularly. For the longest time, he stared at the the wrinkles on his bed sheet that was covering his legs, his brain in a void of thoughts. He was disoriented, depressed, and inhaled deeply and faltered to look at Pearl, who was seated to the right of his bed.

Pearl's face was dark, her eyes starring mindlessly at the wall, miles far away from here. Her eyes were half lidded, rarely blinking, and she looked dead, just sitting there motionless, devoid of life.

Steven wanted to call her name, to wake her out of her zombie-like trance, but when he opened his mouth, his lips couldn't form the word. He had truly forgotten how to speak, and a tear ran down his cheek, but he quickly swiped it away with his hand. Pearl heard Steven move slightly and went to look at him, but when there eyes locked, she quickly looked away, thinking that he didn't want to look at her anymore.

 _"He hates me",_ Pearl thought. _"I don't deserve to live."_ Each thought after that became more and more negative, inwardly hating herself. " _He won't forgive me. He can't forgive me. He'll never forgive me."_

* * *

 **A/N: I'm too tired to explain how I know all that stuff about the brain so whatever. His condition is real btw and it's pretty sad.**


End file.
